


godfeels interlude: eyes like violet fire

by SarahZedig



Series: godfeels, or: "i dreamed of feeling better" [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aftercare, Bulge Sucking (Homestuck), Consensual Sex, Discussion of Bondage, F/F, Foreplay, Lesbian Sex, Light Dom/sub, Power Dynamics, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Submission, Therapy, Transgender, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:00:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahZedig/pseuds/SarahZedig
Summary: After an acceptable dinner, Rose Lalonde encourages June Eg8ert to explore her more submissive tendencies.
Relationships: June Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Rose Lalonde/June Egbert, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Series: godfeels, or: "i dreamed of feeling better" [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1475819
Comments: 16
Kudos: 148





	godfeels interlude: eyes like violet fire

**Author's Note:**

> This is an explicit NSFW sex scene set after the events of godfeels 2, part 3. While this is an expansion of various relationships introduced in gf2, it is **not necessary reading** for the future of the series. Consider it, instead, something that happened while the story wasn't looking. If you are uncomfortable with depictions of physical intimacy or sex, please feel no obligation to read this piece.

Rose: That was a lovely dinner, June.

she sets her napkin down and leans 8ack in her chair. we're sitting across from each other, our plates smeared with remnants of tomato sauce. spaghetti and garlic bread. perfect, right?

June: really?  
Rose: No. Not at all.

dang.  
  
I 8rush a cold metal palm through my hair and shake my head.

June: yeah sorry. with Kanaya and TZ out I wanted to give you something nice, so I-  
Rose: But you've never cooked before, right?  
June: heh. no.  
Rose: It was a noble effort. I would say the pasta was only... mildly overcooked. But the palette in general was  
June: alright alright, I wasn't looking for the full review, jeez.  
Rose: I suppose I can't complain. You are letting my wife and I stay with you rent free, after all.  
June: well, you let me stay at your place after my uh

the words tum8le over themselves to a screeching halt.  
  
the memory of that week is like a ghost that hangs over every convers8ion. mostly we try not to 8ring it up.  
  
I chuckle a 8it at "rent free." we're gods, why would we ever need to pay rent? truth is, Rose and Kanaya could have gone literally anywhere after their house was destroyed. offering to let them stay with us in our new place felt like a silly gesture at first, 8ut I think after what happened...  
  
well, I can see why they wouldn't want to put _more_ distance 8etween us.

June: anyway uh,  
June: sorry the food wasn't up to snuff! 8ut I guess beggars can't be choosers.  
Rose: You're putting words in my mouth, June Egbert.  
June: huh? I thought that was food I put in your-  
Rose: I've never begged for anything.

oh.  
  
I can't tell if she's annoyed or not, which means my gr8 brain _insists_ she's annoyed and therefore h8s me. what else could it be? I watch as she swirls the last bit of wine in her glass, knocks it 8ack, and sets it down.  
  
in the silence 8etween us I expect her to say something curt and passive aggressive, then leave the room. this is what happens when I try to do something nice, I just screw it up and say something dum8 and then everybody h8s me 8ecause I can't avoid 8eing weird and alien8ing to EVERYONE and  
  
her eyes meet mine. the slightest glint of a smile edges up her face as she picks up the open 8ottle nearby and pours herself another glass of wine. slowly, at a trickle.  
  
then she leans over the ta8le and tops off mine. only now am I noticing just how nice she's dressed. I'm just in a t-shirt and jeans, but Rose is wearing a velvet 8lack button-up and a dark miniskirt. which actually isn't that unusual for her, I guess? 8ut it feels conspicuous somehow. it can't just be for me though, right? I'm proba8ly just imagining things.  
  
Rose holds her glass up in the recognizable gesture of a toast, so I fum8le to do the same.

Rose: To getting our shit together, one glass of wine at a time.

we clink our glasses and drink. she watches me as she takes a long and purposeful sip. is my heart going a little faster?  
  
it's just a dinner, June. don't do this to yourself.

June: where'd that come from?  
Rose: Hm?  
June: your toast just now. not that I disagree...  
Rose: You tell me.  
June: oh. well I guess, uh... I mean, I know I'm a mess-  
Rose: That's true, but can you say any of us would fail to qualify as "a mess?"  
June: heh, no.  
Rose: Precisely.  
Rose: We're a gaggle of superpowered deities with decades of trauma chasing us like the reanimated cadavers of a dozen deceased Daves. Or, to put it another way:  
Rose: Every single one of us is extraordinarily fucked up.  
June: ...yeah.

she glances out the window at the cerulean glow of the darkening sky. I've always had a hard time reading her, 8ut right now it's pretty o8vious that she's sad. though she'd pro8ably call it something pretentious like "morose".

Rose: I don't think there's any amount of therapy that could hope to fix our variety of shattered psychological function.  
Rose: At my most optimistic I'd say we can learn how to pick up a few of the pieces and stack them in a nice, organized pile.  
Rose: Admire them from afar and pretend that we're better.  
June: hey, are you- are you okay?  
Rose: Hm?

when she looks 8ack at me, yeah, "morose" seems like it was exactly the right word.

June: it's just, you seem...  
June: morose.

she nods her head slowly as she swirls her glass again. a small vortex forms in the wine, and her eyes follow it intently.

Rose: "Morose" is an apt diagnosis.

I w8 for her to elaborate, 8ut she's silent. takes another sip. glances back at the window.

June: were the noodles really THAT 8ad?

Rose giggles despite herself. that's exactly what it is, too, a giggle. it's such a sweet noise that it honestly catches me off guard, and from the urgency with which she fights to regain her composure it seems Rose was just as surprised as me.

Rose: What am I doing, dragging the mood down like this?  
June: oh, it's okay! I'm just glad you trust me enough to 8e sad at the dinner table.

her lips curl up into a wry smile, and that's when I notice her flawless matte black lipstick. so smooth, so...  
  
why am I staring at Rose's lips??? oh god I'm 8eing so weird!

Rose: Why wouldn't I trust you?

I can think of so many sad and moody ways to answer that question, 8ut something in her voice is... playful? like the words she's saying and the message she's actually trying to communic8 are worlds apart.  
  
the only response I can think of is a 8ig gulp of wine.

Rose: Are you in a hurry?  
June: no, I just-  
Rose: You're not nervous, are you?  
June: pfff, what? no. come on! what would I even have to 8e nervous a8out?

I force a laugh, 8ut her gaze cuts right through me. oh god.

Rose: I think we both know the answer to that question.

ohhhhhhhh god. what does that mean?? is she-  
  
Rose can't 8e FLIRTING with me, can she? no way.  
  
well, okay. we had that _one_ convers8ion, that's true, but it was months ago!  
  
I'm making shit up, o8viously. she's not flirting with me. why would she want to? come on.

Rose: Everything okay over there?  
June: oh, yeah! I'm just, uhh-  
June: hey, do you want to go sit on the couch may8e? these kitchen chairs are really uncomfortable.  
Rose: That sounds exquisite.  
June: I don't know a8out "exquisite". it's a couch.

she doesn't say anything to that, just stands up and walks to the living room. glass in one hand. 8ottle in the other.  
  
as I toss our pl8s in the sink, I take a second to put myself 8ack together.  
  
what is UP with this 8urning sens8ion at the bottom of my gut? it's not like I'm even that attracted to her!  
  
that's what I used to think, anyway. 8ut that was before...  
  
deep 8reath. nothing's gonna happen. we're just friends, going to sit on a couch and continue to get drunk together. she's not flirting with me, she's just, uh  
  
friendly?  
  
yeah.  
  
I gra8 my wine, walk into the living room, and-  
  
and she's already staring at me.  
  
the couch faces away from the kitchen towards an open fireplace covered 8y a big screen TV. Rose is sat with her head leaning all the way back, so she's looking at me upside-down.

Rose: What took you so long?

I freeze. she's loose in a way I've never seen her 8efore. alluring, even?  
  
no, no, we JUST had this convers8ion!!!!!!!!  
  
I laugh it off and sit next to her (not too close, 8ut closer than I pro8ably should have tried for, she's gonna 8e mad at me for trying to get so close, oh I've already fucked up- w8, no, I HAVEN'T fucked up 8ecause there's nothing TO fuck up because nothing is happening oh god oh god oh)

June: oh, you know. dishes were crusty.  
Rose: Really? I didn't think we were talking _that_ long.  
June: yeah, it surprised me too! that tomato sauce really, uh  
June: really stuck on there.   
Rose: Did you try using water?  
June: h  
June: haha, yeah, I always forget that part!  
Rose: "Using water" seems less like a part of the process than the whole process altogether, but then again...  
Rose: I suppose we can never put anything past a forgetful girl like you.

my 8reath hitches, and it's like a burst of light irradi8s my 8elly. for a second, all I know is that my heart is speeding up, that she's looking at me with that same devious grin,  
  
w8, that was an INSULT! that was like- that was a mean thing for her to say, wasn't it? so why...  
  
why don't I feel insulted?  
  
Rose crosses her legs, curls a lock of hair around one finger. She's watching me so intently now, and I don't know what to do. I don't know _why._  
  
IS she flirting with me????????  
  
I want to ask, 8ut I'm terrified that if I do she'll get offended and leave and I don't want her to leave 8ecause, I think, if she WERE flirting with me...  
  
aaaaaaaahhh what the fuck what the fuck what the f

Rose: Prone to drifting off, are we?  
June: hah, yeah, you could say that.  
Rose: I hope I'm not boring you.  
June: what??? no, you're not 8oring me at all! I'm just, uhh, I'm-  
Rose: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were nervous. But you said you're _not_ nervous, so it must be something else.  
Rose: Right?

her voice is disarmingly confident, she isn't asking a question at all, she knows what's happening, she knows the language we're speaking and I'm 8arely keeping up-  
  
no it's not that, no, she's just-  
  
we're-  
  
okay this is ridiculous, I HAVE to say something at this point right? I have to.

June: so, uh... Rose?  
Rose: Mmm?  
June: do you remem8er our, uhh  
Rose: Yes.

oh god oh god oh god oh god o hg od ohgodo hgodohGOD  
  
what does that mean??? what do I say NOW????????  
  
does this mean she's on 8oard? does this mean she's not?? oh god I don't know what to

June: oh, haha. yeah, of course you do.  
June: but um, which thing specifically are you thi-  
Rose: I'm thinking of a particularly loaded question you dropped in my lap not moments before my house was demolished by a flotilla of automatons.  
Rose: If I remember correctly, it was a question of... sapphic attraction? Does that sound right to you?  
June: ah yeah we're defin8ly uh  
June: on the same page  
June: there

Rose leans towards me, she might as well 8e moving in slow motion, I feel like a field mouse just staring as a gr8 8ig fuck-off owl swoops down to rip my head off, she just gets closer and, I can't move-  
  
when she stops, she's only a few inches away

Rose: Why do you bring it up, Egbert?  
June: well I um

she cocks an eye8row  
  
there's a wave of  
  
waaaay too many emotions  
  
is she just trying to intimid8 me? I don't... _think_ that's all this is, 8ut... I don't know. what do I do, do I-  
  
I guess I just  
  
say it?

June: you're uh,  
June: so I don't know if I ever had a... a _crush_ on you, exactly? 8ut I wasn't really...  
June: myself? back then?  
June: looking 8ack though I always had a like, fix8ion, I guess, on you, and ever since coming out I've been working through this whole parade of feelings  
June: y'know cause  
June: I always figured I was proba8ly like not into sex, right? but these days that's um  
June: well it's  
June: heh  
June: anyway I've just 8een thinking about how I  
June: I think you're,  
June: aaaaaaaahaha sorry, this is really-  
June: I just think you're  
June: cute????????

she doesn't 8link, she doesn't 8reathe, she just-  
  
laughs?  
  
no, it's  
  
another giggle. what

Rose: "Cute" must be _the_ quintessential Egbertian means of confessing sexual attraction to another woman.  
June: !!!!!!!!  
June: I didn't say it was sexual!  
Rose: Are you saying it isn't sexual?  
June: ...well, I

her smile curls up like I've already answered her question, she sips from her glass of wine, delic8ly sets it down on the little ikea coffee ta8le, then she leans even closer, and, oh jeez she's just  
  
right  
  
there  
  
so close to my face, eyes like violet fire, 8oring through every defense I have, my heart's racing so fast, my eyes are wide, I'm frozen in place, I feel naked

Rose: Is this too _cute_ for you?  
June: wh  
June: what?  
Rose: I'll take that as a no.

and she kisses me.  
  
lightly at first. but it's not long before her tongue explores past my lips,  
  
her arms wrap around my shoulders, slides over, straddles my lap, she, she smells so different from Terezi, like the smell you get when you walk past the artisanal soap store in a mall, her touch is... so much lighter, she kisses less like she's starving than like she's savoring a fine dessert.  
  
I'm... something sweet, for her. ohhhhh god  
  
she pulls away from the kiss, licks her lips, and

Rose: I'm surprised.  
June: ...why?  
Rose: You're a pretty good kisser. Much better than you are a cook.  
Rose: Someone like you, though... it makes sense you'd only really know how to do a few things well.

there's that feeling again, that glow, it completely overtakes me, and I still just  
  
I don't know what to do with it  
  
why do I feel like this??  
  
my eyes are darting everywhere around the room, everywhere except her, I'm trapped 8y her arms and her penetr8ing gaze just unwavering, she practically doesn't 8link  
  
she's so close, and I see her lips again- parted slightly, her breath is  
  
her 8reath is heavier than it was, but she's hiding it

Rose: Do you still think I'm cute?  
June: y- yes  
Rose: That's pleasant to hear. You're rather cute yourself, June.   
June: am... am I?  
Rose: You're stuttering. I think you may be nervous after all.

her voice is a heavy whisper as she draws a line up my neck, landing her index finger just 8elow my chin

Rose: Don't be nervous, June. It was just a kiss.  
Rose: What's a little indulgence like that between friends?  
June: oh  
Rose: It's nothing special, after all. Just a pleasant little treat after an acceptable meal.  
Rose: At this point I might as well go back to my room, right?   
June: well-  
Rose: Although, truth be told, it doesn't _seem_ like you want me to go anywhere. Honestly, it seems like you're desperate for me to stay right here. Like you might be on the verge of begging.

she presses her finger over my lips when I try to speak.

Rose: I never begged for anything, June, but you? Something tells me you beg all the time.

a little moan escapes me, and  
  
why WHY WHY am I reacting like this while she  
  
sh e  
  
she laughs again and shakes her head

Rose: I really called it with you, didn't I?  
June: wh-  
June: called what?  
Rose: Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but you strike me as something of a bottom.  
June: !!!! UUUUUUUUH  
Rose: That's a yes.  
Rose: Not that you were doing a particularly good job of hiding it, but sometimes it helps to lay these things out in simple terms.  
Rose: Simple terms for a simple girl.

oh fuck  
  
I gasp. she presses into my face, again, and it's like I'm just _gone,_  
  
she feels so warm, so soft, and my hands are,  
  
on her-  
  
OH  
  
I pull my hands away as fast as I can

June: sorry sorry sorry I didn't mean to feel you up I was just-  
Rose: Oh my god, you are _adorable._  
Rose: I don't use that word very often, but it certainly applies to you.  
Rose: I think you were doing exactly what you meant to do, June Egbert. That was no accidental copped feel. That was premeditated.  
June: I'm sorry-  
Rose: No you're not.

she says it with such a seering, lustful venom, this smile so incredulous she pro8a8ly thinks everything about me is some kind of lie  
  
and at this exact moment, it  
  
sort of  
  
feels like that's true?

Rose: If you want to touch my breasts, touch them.  
June: o- okay

she leans into my hands as I do, 8ut her eyes never look anywhere 8ut me, and

Rose: So obedient. I like that.  
June: Rose, I-  
Rose: And desperate, too.  
Rose: It's okay, I like desperate. Desperate girls will do almost anything to get what they want. And you... well, look at you.  
Rose: "What will she do to me next?"  
Rose: I'd be willing to bet that every time you hear that thought, you wonder where it came from. "Why do I want her to do things to me, why do I enjoy it when she calls me names?"  
Rose: Things like "simple."  
Rose: Things like "obedient."  
Rose: Look at you, writhing. You haven't got a poker face to save your life.  
June: aah  
Rose: You make such a show of being a loud, confident troublemaker all the time, but all you really want is for someone to tell you what to do. Isn't that right?  
June:  
June:  
June: y  
Rose: Tell me something, June.

she drags her cheek across mine, presses her lips to my ear.

Rose: (Have you ever thought about bondage?)

I gasp and stammer backwards. Rose giggles and picks her wine back up, scoots back to the other end of the couch.

Rose: It's okay if you haven't. I was just curious.

Rose watches me as she sips her wine, w8ing for me to make the next move. what is the next move?? do I say- what do I say? I don't know what to say 8ecause I've never thought about  
  
never thought

June: there are... a lot of things I've never thought a8out before because i was  
June: well I, wasn't ready  
June: so it's 8een a lot of finding new, uh, interests through conversation  
June: and  
Rose: Is this your way of telling me that you're interested?  
June: I...  
June: uhmm  
June: maybe??? 8ut, I don't know, it's... scary?  
Rose: That's half the fun.  
June: I just, I really don't like pain...  
Rose: You're making the common mistake of confusing bondage with masochism. Consensual physical restraint and consensual infliction of pain commonly interface among the extremophiles of society, but these are hardly mutually exclusive perversions.  
June: I thought 8ondage was supposed to be, you know... mean?  
Rose: It can, if that's what you want. But it can be so many other things, too.

she sets her wine 8ack down on the table and crosses her legs again. that smile hasn't 8udged an inch.

Rose: You're submissive.  
June: am I?  
Rose: It wasn't a question.  
Rose: What you want more than anything right now is to give up control. You want me to reach into that silly little brain of yours and pluck out every single thought but one.  
Rose: This is likely a response to a conscious life spent _too much_ in control. It's exhausting having to worry about so much all at once, sometimes you just want to...  
Rose: Let go.  
June: god  
Rose: Just Rose for now, June. We aren't _quite_ there yet.  
Rose: My point is, submissiveness is another interest that commonly interfaces with bondage.  
Rose: To have your arms and legs tied to a bed is to be truly helpless. It's a brave thing to do, it requires an incredible amount of trust in your partner. Boundaries need to be set, conversations need to be had.  
Rose: All sex, at the end of the day, is just play-acting. Tricking our basest animal minds into believing that we're in danger when we're not, or that we're, say, transforming into another animal altogether when nothing at all has changed.  
Rose: And yet even now, knowing that it's a play and that the danger fundamentally cannot be real, the thought of it makes your heart race, doesn't it?  
June: ...I  
Rose: Even as you see the trick, you're still fooled by it. You _want_ to be fooled by it.  
Rose: Will you do something for me?  
June: Ye-  
Rose: Of course you will.  
Rose: Imagine you're tied down, in a room where you know intellectually that nothing is going to hurt you. What do you see?  
June: what do I  
Rose: Are you clothed? Are you sober? Is the room warm? Is it night? A good fantasy requires good set dressing.

of course I'm imagining it, the pressure of my back on a soft bed, restraints on my wrists and ankles (they're soft, I think, soft and warm), the shiver up my thighs when I try to close my legs and can't (I'm wearing 8oxer shorts and a baggy shirt I don't care for), across the room she's watching me, smiling so wide, she knows all the noises I'm going to make, knows I'm helpless,  
  
I'm short of breath now, it's right there, I want to touch myself 8ut I can't yet, not until she-  
  
the sound of her laugh 8rings me out of it. when I shake my head, something feels weird on my face, I reach up and  
  
oh GOD I was DROOLING oh this is fucking embarrassing, I start to wipe it away-

Rose: Oh, you sweet, simple thing.  
June: ah  
Rose: That's how desperate you are, that you'd willingly submit yourself to this kind of perversion.  
Rose: Not that you should ever feel ashamed of your perversions, of course. But then again, sometimes shame is _part_ of the perversion.  
Rose: Regardless, here we are sat upon a couch, having a normal intimate conversation- and here _you_ are, so self-indulgently submerged in a fantasy that you can scarcely think of anything else.  
Rose: Why _is_ your heart racing, June?  
June: why-  
Rose: Could it be that even the mere possibility of being done unto by another person in such a direct and intractable way is enough to set you quivering?  
Rose: I can see you lost in thought, imagining all the things that could happen.  
June: y- yes  
Rose: What do you want to happen?  
June: u um, I  
June: I want you, to  
June: to... hold me down  
Rose: And?  
June: and,  
June: and kiss m, my neck  
Rose: Can you do better than that?  
June: I-  
June: I don't  
Rose: Of course you can't.  
Rose: There's too much pressure, and you don't want to think for yourself anymore, do you?  
June: I  
Rose: Do you?  
June: n  
June: no  
Rose: The fantasy alone is so intoxicating that all you really want to do is touch yourself, isn't that right?  
June: hh I  
June: yes  
Rose: Good.  
Rose: Honestly, I'm impressed by the restraint you've shown so far.  
Rose: You could relieve this pressure so quickly, so easily, and yet your hands haven't budged.

her finger moves to  
  
m my knee, and up my thigh, stops  
  
I don't know  
  
what noises I'm making  
  
anymor e  
  
my eyes flit open, for a second, and I see  
  
with her other hand she's  
  
touching hersel f  
  
she  
  
she's enjoying this too ohhhhhhhh fUCK this is so much

Rose: Obedient to the point of suffering.  
Rose: You know, I think you'd be very happy at the end of a leash.

I think I'm crying, or, I'm  
  
8egging her  
  
whatever I'm doing is just  
  
noise  
  
from an animal  
  
indistinct moans  
  
please let me  
  
am I saying this out loud?  
  
please  
  
pl  
  
the sound of keys turning in the front door pulls me out of the trance so hard I fall off the couch, 8ut Rose is entirely unstunned. she stands up as Kanaya and Terezi come inside, wearing an innocent smile.

Rose: Hello, dear.  
Kanaya: Salutations Wife  
Rose: How was your day trip?  
Kanaya: It Was-  
Terezi: WH3R3'S MY G1RLFR13ND??

I raise my hand up from the floor in front of the couch.

June: present!

with a running start she 8ounds over the back of the couch and lands on it in a perfect laying position.

Terezi: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG DOWN TH3R3  
June: oh, you know  
June: just

think think think think think think think think come up with something, damn it I'm, I'm still so hazy from Rose's, uh  
  
_teasing_  
  
that I can't, I'm still excited and horny and now I'm nervous-  
  
Terezi leans up slightly and sniffs the air.

Terezi: TWO W1N3 GL4SS3S

sniff sniff

Terezi: 4ND TH3 D1STR4CT1ON W1NDOW 1S OFF

sniffsniffsniffsniff oh god she's leaning down towards me now

Terezi: 4ND YOU...  
Terezi: YOU SM3LL L1K3...

I 8arely have time to register the shock on her face before she br8ks into a devious grin.

Terezi: 1 C4N'T L34V3 YOU 4LON3 FOR 4 S3COND, C4N 1?

there's a shuffling noise from the other side of the room. I look up to see Rose and Kanaya staring at the two of us, and for the first time since our "morose" convers8ion Rose looks exposed. Kanaya crosses her arms and turns to her.

Kanaya: I Was Going To Ask If You Accidentally Spilled A Very Small Amount Of Liquid On A Conspicuous Location On Your Skirt  
Kanaya: But I Think I Already Know The Answer

Rose 8lushes 8right red, and she  
  
she looks away? like she's embarrassed? what the f  
  
3Y3S UP FRONT, JUN3  
  
OH GOD I FORGOT YOU COULD READ MY MIND  
  
>:]  
  
I scram8le up to my feet-   
  
Terezi turns over and curls up on her knees like a predator w8ing to pounce-   
  
I 8ack away from her wide-mouthed grin-  
  
Kanaya has a finger under Rose's chin and she's-  
  
she's backing up too-

Kanaya: Is This What You Humans Do Every Time Youre Alone  
Rose: Not alway-  
Kanaya: Canoodle With Each Other Under The Influence Of Crimson Soporifics  
Rose: Sometimes people get carried away-

Terezi's eyes are trained on me as I step away, which I know is just an intimid8ion thing to unnerve me and it's, it's really working-  
  
she jumps off the couch so fast I stum8le, and  
  
now Rose and I are 8ack to 8ack as Kanaya and Terezi close the distance 8etween us  
  
we look at each other and- I see in her eyes that same fire, 8ut it's cold now, it's light, it's  
  
I think it's the same feeling she gave me-

Terezi: WH4T'S WRONG, JUN3?  
Terezi: YOU S33M N3RVOUS  
June: I-  
Terezi: 4ND YOU _SM3LL_ P41NFULLY 4ROUS3D  
June: o oh, well-  
Terezi: YOU'R3 4LR34DY CLOS3, 4R3N'T YOU?  
June: I...  
June: y-  
Terezi: SH3 C4N H4RDLY TH1NK STR41GHT, K4N4Y4  
Terezi: WH4T DO YOU SUPPOS3 TH4T'S 4BOUT?  
Kanaya: I Think My Wife May Have Been Torturing Your Girlfriend  
Rose: That's not-  
Kanaya: Hush

Rose whimpers-  
  
_whimpers?_  
  
I didn't know she COULD whimper...  
  
is that  
  
is that what I sound like?

Terezi: YOU POOR M4LNOUR1SH3D W1GGL3R

she presses her whole 8ody against mine, aa  
  
aahnd reaches down my pants, her   
  
her smile  
  
gets wider as she  
  
gra8s  
  
me

Terezi: NOT _TH4T_ POOR THOUGH  
Terezi: SOM3TH1NG T3LLS M3 YOU W3R3 3NJOY1NG 1T  
June: a aa hn  
Kanaya: This One Has Been Known To Use Effective Seduction Techniques On Occasion  
Kanaya: She Likes To Play At Being A Conniving Temptatrix  
Terezi: 1 S33  
Terezi: TH4T'S 4WFULLY PR3SUMPT1V3 FOR 4 HUM4N  
Kanaya: It Is Very Impertinent

every 8reath Rose takes, she makes the slightest little noise  
  
I feel her back against mine, my head is on her shoulder 8ecause Terezi is-  
  
her hands, fuck

Terezi: 1 BET YOUR W1F3 W4S PL34S3D 4S 4 FR3SHLY F3D LUSUS L34D1NG MY G1RLFR13ND ON  
Terezi: BUT L3T M3 T3LL YOU ROS3, G3TT1NG JUN3 ON H3R KN33S 1SN'T 3X4CTLY ROCK3T SC13NC3

then her hand moves from my, my crotch, up, into my hair, and she kisses me, once, then  
  
holds my hair tight,  
  
pushes down  
  
and I  
  
I can't resist, I  
  
I don't want to-  
  
I slide down to my knees, until my head is resting on- on Rose's 8utt  
  
oh,,,  
  
Terezi's hand has a firm grasp of my hair, fuck me I, I really, I like this a lot, I like-  
  
she leans forward, presses against me, my face is-  
  
I feel her 8ulge through her pants, can feel its moisture 8leeding through-  
  
it's, the smell, is, so gaaa a aa a ah

Terezi: S33??  
Terezi: NO GR34T 4CCOMPL1SHM3NT

Rose is quivering against me-

Kanaya: She Thinks Shes Such An Alluring Yipbeast  
Kanaya: And I Have To Admit That It Can Be Fun To Let Her Labor On In That Delusion  
Kanaya: But Sometimes It Pays To Remind Her Who Is Really In Control

I feel Rose struggling not to 8e pushed to the ground herself, but she gives in-  
  
as she goes I hear the sound of 8uttons being undone, and Rose letting out a  
  
a pleading, noise  
  
as her shirt-

Terezi: GOOD 1D34, M4RY4M  
Kanaya: Thank You Terezi

Terezi leans down, I expect her to pull my shirt up over my head-  
  
she reaches with a force that makes me gasp, and  
  
it tears apart across my 8ack, almost pulling me to the ground as it goes  
  
the fa8ric rips, comes away, and I feel  
  
so,  
  
de8ased-  
  
and I think  
  
I never want this moment to end??  
  
Rose's shirt comes away gently, and now our naked 8acks touch- she's warm, soft, thrumming with energy and anticip8ion  
  
then I hear a sound, that-  
  
that I've heard 8efore  
  
the sticky, wet noise of a- of a 8ulge let loose  
  
in front of me, Terezi follows suit, and  
  
presses it  
  
against my face  
  
I'm touching myself now, I can't help it, it's too much- I unzip my jeans and, start  
  
Terezi laughs, derisively but also with  
  
so much, lust

Terezi: YOU R34LLY D1D G3T H3R GO1NG, ROS3  
Rose: Aah-  
Kanaya: I Think Theyre Both In Motion Now

then-  
  
then Rose-  
  
her hand-  
  
she puts her hand on mine, curls our fingers together,  
  
my heart  
  
oh, my heart  
  
I squeeze 8ack, and-

Kanaya: Its Sweet Watching You Two Bond Over Your Mutual Predilections  
Kanaya: I Am Glad We Could Provide You With This Opportunity  
Rose: P-  
Rose: Please...  
Terezi: WH4T DO3S SH3 W4NT?  
Kanaya: The Same Thing I Do

then I hear- what?  
  
my eyes drift over, and, I see Kanaya's 8ulge-  
  
oh it's, so different? somehow? emerald and- she presses it against Rose's lips-  
  
Terezi's grip on my hair tightens, directs my head 8ack to her, I look up at her  
  
her red eyes  
  
like a 8lazing patch of dry grass,  
  
a fire that spreads through me until there's nothing left  
  
  
I  
  
  
  
I open my mouth  
  
  
  
  
  
close my eyes  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I am hers, and it's 8etter than anything I've ever felt  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I open my eyes again when it's over, 8ut I'm still barely here  
  
  
  
8reathing so fast, I'm still so warm, I don't want to move a single muscle-  
  
  
Rose and I lay on the ground, panting, covered in, erm  
  
_genetic material_  
  
Terezi and Kanaya wandered off somewhere, laughing-  
  
I don't know how much time has passed, I'm so light and, and full, as my thoughts come 8ack to me, and I look over to see Rose running a hand idly between her 8reasts  
  
she looks so unfathoma8ly satisfied, and I feel a kinship with her that we're both _like this_

June: I thought-

I'm still panting, my voice is strained. she looks at me, her eyes are glazed over

Rose: Hm?  
June: I thought you said you never 8egged for anything.

again she giggles, that same genuine girlish laughter, her hand reflexively covers her mouth

Rose: I lied.

I smile and I laugh, 8ut as it comes-  
  
a shudder passes through me, and I realize I'm just  
  
laying on the floor, mostly naked, soaked in teal and jade _fluids,_ and I  
  
I LIKED that??  
  
what the fuck  
  
what the fuck is wrong with me?  
  
Rose must see it on my face, she reaches a hand over and 8rushes my cheek. it's so kind, that's the only word I can think of- it's kind and caring  
  
she smiles  
  
and a tear cuts down my face, into her fingertips

June: what's wrong with me?  
June: why did I like that????????  
June: oh god, I'm-  
Rose: Shhhhh. You're okay, June.  
Rose: Was this your first time doing-  
June: yes  
Rose: I see.

she takes a second to collect herself, pulling 8ack from the breathy empty-headedness of the afterglow

Rose: It's easy to feel ashamed of one's submissiveness. What just happened isn't what most people would call "normal," and laying here as we are, with...  
June: with a paint jo8?  
Rose: Sure.  
Rose: Laying here with a fresh _paint job,_ slowly becoming aware of just how desperate you were for something so seemingly insulting...  
Rose: You might think "most people" have a point.  
Rose: But they don't.  
Rose: I had fun tonight, June. Did you?  
June: I...  
June: yeah, I think I did.  
Rose: Good.

she pulls her hand away, presses her palm against mine, closes her fingers- she has such small, soft hands, 8ut her grasp feels unbreaka8le.

Rose: Fun like this is dangerous. It can be a form of self-harm, of abuse... but it can also be therapeutic.  
Rose: And for people as fucked up as us, sometimes it's the closest we ever get to really effective therapy.  
Rose: So... how did this make you feel?

I 8reathe deep, and I feel my heartbeat slowing. most of my senses have returned.  
  
the ghost of shame nags at me as I look at Rose, look down at myself, picture us as we must look to the world-  
  
8ut the world isn't here, is it?  
  
and I think we're...  
  
hot????????  
  
god damn, that's really what I believe, huh? then it must 8e true...

June: it made me feel good.

her smile widens, and- and genuine concern dissolves from her expression.  
  
concern. she was concerned a8out me.  
  
I squeeze her hand, and Rose kisses my forehead and whispers

Rose: I'm so glad.

and then we just  
  
stare at each other...

Rose: You have such pretty eyes. I don't think I've ever noticed them before.  
Rose: The color of a windswept ocean just before sunrise.  
Rose: ...  
Rose: June, I-  
Rose: I'm glad I got to share this moment with you.  
June: heh.  
June: me tooAAH

a hand lands on my shoulder and I nearly jump out of my skin

Terezi: 4LR1GHT L4D13S, L3T'S G3T YOU CL34N3D UP  
Rose: Yes, please.

as she pulls us up, my legs- I'm shaking, a little, and Terezi supports me. Rose, of course, is just fine, striding confidently as I fight to pull my pants up. Kanaya stands a few feet away holding out her hand, and they em8race with such love-

Terezi: HOW 4R3 YOU HOLD1NG UP?  
June: my knees sting a 8it from the carpet, I guess, but...  
June: I'm good.  
Terezi: TH4T'S 4 R3L13F  
Kanaya: Terezi Was Worried We Took Things Too Far Too Fast  
Terezi: >:O  
June: really?  
Terezi: W3LL Y34H!!

she explains herself as we walk towards the 8athroom, my arm around her shoulder, and we laugh as we shower together, we get dressed, we drink more wine around the ta8le-  
  
we're all so tired, but no one wants to sleep. so we talk.  
  
all four of us. about what we love, and what we miss. joke about the new stains in the carpet. we all take a turn crying (some of us more than once), and at the end of it all we're silent,  
  
  
our hearts lined up one 8y one.  
  
  
  
  
it was never a8out the words.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
we just didn't want to 8e alone  



End file.
